The ogre in me
My girlfriend always joked about me being an ogre and she being a princess because I'm huge, clumsy and I forget my own strength very often. It wasn't funny when I ended up giving her bruises because I tried to prevent her from getting out of the car one night we had a fight. I just wanted to talk. But it's no excuse for hurting her.
I tried to deal with it. I think I'm handling it better now. I hope she can forgive me. It is a lesson learned under the worst conditions possible. Hurting the one you love the most. I have always loathed people who abuse women, I never thought I would become one. I wish I could say that if anyone hit me or if anything bad happened to me it would make it better. But I know it won't. Nothing will change the fact that I had hurt her physically and that she feels betrayed by it. The only person who she thought would protect her couldn't protect her from himself. It is a damaging blow to something that seemed like a happy romance. I pray that we're strong enough to survive it.
I can never forgive myself for having done that to her. Now I must live with my mistake. One that I hope I can recover from. It is always the hardest lessons learned that are the most bitter. But I know now that passion in its purest form can be a dangerous thing if you let it run you to the ground. It is good to love unconditionally. It is not good to love desperately. There are times when you just have to let the situation run its full-course. Because there will always be the ogre in all of us waiting to come out at that moment and make things worse.
I have gone through alot of changes in this my 30th year. I hope for the most part it is for the better. I would not have thought it possible if not for Berlyn. She is my girlfriend, my conscience, my hope, my love. I know its unusual to put all faith in one person especially if you are the more experienced one by far. But she has shown me how to look at myself and become better for it. In that aspect she is hands down the better part.
Love isn't something that happens without conflict. In fact, it is conflict that makes love all the more sweeter. It is in struggling that you realize how much somebody really means to you. It is the hardships that make it all worthwhile at the end of the day when you go back to the one you love and just cherish her for everything that she is.
She teases that I am her Shrek and that she is my Fiona. If I could be that gentle-hearted, loving and make her happy like that, I wouldn't mind being her ogre for the rest of my life.
I tried to deal with it. I think I'm handling it better now. I hope she can forgive me. It is a lesson learned under the worst conditions possible. Hurting the one you love the most. I have always loathed people who abuse women, I never thought I would become one. I wish I could say that if anyone hit me or if anything bad happened to me it would make it better. But I know it won't. Nothing will change the fact that I had hurt her physically and that she feels betrayed by it. The only person who she thought would protect her couldn't protect her from himself. It is a damaging blow to something that seemed like a happy romance. I pray that we're strong enough to survive it.
I can never forgive myself for having done that to her. Now I must live with my mistake. One that I hope I can recover from. It is always the hardest lessons learned that are the most bitter. But I know now that passion in its purest form can be a dangerous thing if you let it run you to the ground. It is good to love unconditionally. It is not good to love desperately. There are times when you just have to let the situation run its full-course. Because there will always be the ogre in all of us waiting to come out at that moment and make things worse.
I have gone through alot of changes in this my 30th year. I hope for the most part it is for the better. I would not have thought it possible if not for Berlyn. She is my girlfriend, my conscience, my hope, my love. I know its unusual to put all faith in one person especially if you are the more experienced one by far. But she has shown me how to look at myself and become better for it. In that aspect she is hands down the better part.
Love isn't something that happens without conflict. In fact, it is conflict that makes love all the more sweeter. It is in struggling that you realize how much somebody really means to you. It is the hardships that make it all worthwhile at the end of the day when you go back to the one you love and just cherish her for everything that she is.
She teases that I am her Shrek and that she is my Fiona. If I could be that gentle-hearted, loving and make her happy like that, I wouldn't mind being her ogre for the rest of my life.
posted by edmundsyap at 7:35 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home